Moto-Tow Inc.
I know most of you wait for Kirk’s collection jokes, but what is not a joke is his motorcycle towing business…There is none better. This guy is fast, professional and fair! Not many times to you hear that for a towing company, but Kirk is the exception to the surly tow truck driver and slow service as usual.
So if you need a tow, and I hope you don’t, but if you do call Kirk!
Women will hate this one!
A pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after he gets his teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes. The congregation has to mob him to get him down from the pulpit, and they ask him what happened. The pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn’t talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, by mistake he put his wife’s teeth in and couldn’t stop talking.
Ballerina
A large woman, wearing a sleeveless sun dress, walked into a bar in London. She raised her right arm, revealing a huge, hairy armpit as she pointed to all the people sitting at the bar and asked, What man here will buy a lady a drink?
The bar went silent as the patrons tried to ignore her. But down at the end of the bar, an owly-eyed drunk slammed his hand down on the counter and bellowed, Give the ballerina a drink!
The bartender poured the drink and the woman chugged it dow…n. She turned to the patrons and again pointed around at all of them, revealing the same hairy armpit, and asked, What man here will buy a lady a drink?
Once again, the same little drunk slapped his money down on the bar and said, Give the ballerina another drink!
The bartender approached the little drunk and said, I say, old chap, it’s your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her the ballerina?
As far as I’m concerned, the drunk replied, any woman who can lift her leg that high has got to be a ballerina!
You can’t fix stupid..
A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit even though he knew that he was not speeding… Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again,but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result.He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail’s pace… Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt.. You can’t fix stupid..
Hey Tommy
A little girl and a little boy were at day care one day.
The girl approaches the boy and says, “Hey Tommy, wanna play house?”
He says, “Sure! What do you want me to do?”
The girl replies, “I want you to communicate,” and he says to her, “that word is too big. I have no idea what it means.”
The little girl smirks and says, “Perfect. You can be the husband.”
little Johnny
A teacher is teaching a class and she sees that Johnny isn’t paying attention, so she asks him, “If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many are left?” Johnny says, “None.” The teacher asks, “Why?” Johnny says, “Because the shot scared them all off.” The teacher says, “No, two, but I like how you’re thinking.” Johnny asks the teacher, “If you see three women walking out of an ice cream parlor, one is licking her ice cream, one is sucking her ice cream, and one is biting her ice cream, which one is married?” The teacher says, “The one sucking her ice cream.” Johnny says, “No, the one with the wedding ring, but I like how you’re thinking!”
Moto-Tow Inc.
Is Kirk a Rat Bastard? You Betcha!
Kirk Higgins… back again
